The Day in The Life Haunted Curiosities

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A HauntedCuriosities PrimerMeet Dick and JaneJane said one day "hey I'm really getting bogged down with emails.What can I do to eliminate them?" She thought for a moment and came up with a brilliant idea! Jane said " I'm going to make sure that everything I know is in the descriptions, including all the dirty little details."One day Dick came along and asked" can you tell me more?" Jane responded with "please go back to the original description and you will find all your facts there. You can even print it out if you like!"Dick came back and said" I can't find my description!"Jane said" please look in the sold section because that is where you will find it. You will find it there because it was sold."And a new day began for Jane and Dicks and Janes all over.See Dick look at the website.See Dick get real excited!!!See Dick buy something from the website.Dick and Jane are really hitting off!If Dick should slip Jane will now refer him to A HauntedCuriosities Primer. Again all is well with Dick and Jane.A few things about Jane.Jane has a boyfriend and that boyfriend doesn't like other Dicks.Jane takes a long time to ship. Jane takes a long time because she is not sitting at home making stuff up. Jane can not bring you these unique items if she sat at home, could she?Jane will no longer participate in forums, chat rooms or posting boards. Jane met one to many Dicks there. You see someone sent Jane a copy and paste from a forum where Jane was excited about the thread asking if Lord Byron was a vampire. Jane was excited about the information and said a something like " wow I will check into that." Or "I will try and find out." Then another member said thank you Jane and asked the other person questions about his findings. That person became upset and said something to the effect about asking Jane and ended the post with GOT IT! A very uncalled for response. I'm guessing that Jane and the other person should not have been interested in the information posted. But then why was it posted? I think this confused Jane and it seemed others as well. So because of this the only chats Jane will participate in will those on her own radio program.The only emails Jane will be answering will be those from people who are seeking out the package they are expecting in the mail.The only phone calls that Jane will take are from those seeking a layaway.Friends may email me at the kissmecrazie@gmail.comWanting to know where your package is email me at helpmedeedee@gmail.comGetting serious now please understand that most of my descriptions will be as detailed as I can get them. They will tell you if the item is made of good stuff or junk. You will know if it was tested or not and all historical background available to me, this will be available to you as well. There will be no more questions answered on items because it will be all there. This will also include names of spirits IF they are known. You will have instructions on how to use your item right in the description.One very big misconception is about to be cleared up. Someone else knowing the name of your spirit, entity or power will not make it able to run away or go with someone else. They are with you and will stay.Another important fact is if your buying both dark and white items things just might not work out for you. Keep them separated, this is just common sense.If your looking for the best protection items I have them. It is what I use the most because I sure need to.The person casting her evil and causing people to go into the hospital can't touch me. But I don't need to be around the negativity knowing that the face is not as it seems. Being a real psychic has it's advantages and it's disadvantages. Sometimes you wish you just didn't know because you can yell and stomp your feet and people are looking at you like huh? Eventually everyone finds out unfortunately sometimes it is to late.SHIPPINGPLEASE READ SHIPPING INFOI have been asked many times about shipping so I will put it all here so there are no more questions.How I go about shipping and when you can honestly expect your item.DAY ONE OF SHIPPING- I go to see who has paid for stuff. I get really excited when I see the dollar signs lit up. I dance around the house. I sit down and say okay lets get shipping. I then decide to go do lunch first since I can afford it as I did see some dollar signs lit up. I kiss my paypal card and praise GOD. I then get in the car as there is no time for cooking,I do have to pack stuff. STILL ON DAY ONE- I get home after a lunch which took me three hours. I have to eat AND chat. Thats why we call it doing lunch it is actually a sporting event. I get home and the phone rings and it is Fang. Fang is a buyer who talks to me for three hours plus. I'm really nice to them as they buy alot. At least I do not lie to you. STILL DAY ONE- Fang has now sucked the life from me and I need to relax. Now you know why they are called Fang. Now I have emails to answer and emergencies to handle and that takes up the rest of my day. It is now night time and I go on various excursions,investigations,phone calls,what have you.DAY TWO- I get up with full intentions of packing and shipping. I look again to see who bought what and answer emails. I begin to pack it. Begin to pack means this. I wonder if I shall ever find the stuff and I hang my head in my hands and fear for my life. I notice that someone has bought something I haven't seen in a good three months. Only GOD himself knows where this item is. I move on and make a stiff glass of cherry Koolaid. I ponder life.STILL ON DAY TWO- While in my daze the phone rings again,who could it be? It is Fang again! Fang is having an emergency. They tell me that a demon is in the house and ask me to talk them through it. Can you give me advice they ask? Sure I tell tem,"GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!" What more can I say? Again I need to get it together and go do lunch. I plan on coming back and making a dent in the shipping. It doesn't go as planned because I forgot that I have another investigation that I can't blow off because it is with the historical society. I love those people.DAY THREE-- the deflated pumkin head private part scratcher comes over. Okay,you know NOTHING is getting done today. He is pure chaos. This guy can talk more then me! Do you people realize the magnatude of that? I mean he could blow up the world. When we used to try and talk it was one always trying to get a word in. Not a match made in Heaven by no means. He begins to tell me about this girl who broke her knee in four places and how her grandmother would not take her to the emergency room. This is the same girl who is dating my son and likes to be shot with paint balls before they make -out. People,this is a very sick world we live in! I tell him to be quiet so I can pack mystuff up. I then see this old guy who lives behind me in his yard. He is not to stable on his feet so I make sure he doesn't fall down and never get up. This takes a long,long,long time. I can almost feel my life passing me. One time he fell down and he was outside for I think two days before anyone found him. Good thing it was summer time. I'm the only young person on my street. Everyone else is old. They like to come out and spy on me too. It's also a strange street. We can run down the road naked in the summer and no one will see us. We do this when the lights go out as we don't want to scare or offend anyone and most of all ourselves.DAY FOUR- Today is the day! It's going to happen and I can feel the magic. I get ready,I have hot tea but then I realize I have to go to Delaware and feed the homeless man Charlie. Look people,it's still only day four! I find a new homeless person and take them home to prepare to give them a home at the local Wal-mart. I do not like Wal-mart but face it,it is great for homeless people and I have been populating them for the last two years with societies discards. Wal-mart has it all. Lawn and garden which is great for sleeping. Bathrooms for washing and a camping section for God Forbid,procreating in private,tents you know!STILL DAY FOUR- Back from Walmart and again the phone rings. Low and Behold it is a buyer asking where the item is. You can hear a pin drop............... I uh did not do it yet. How long has it been? Your kidding me! Really ! No way! I then try like heck to not laugh what is left of my mind out my ears. The audacity! The NERVE! I see it has only been a week! What MUST they have been thinking? DAY FIVE AND THE BOTTOM LINE- It will get to you. I promise it will. It always does. AND if it doesn't I have been known to find things a good year later. The year thing was only one time so do not worry. So please just relax. I never bug anyone for payments unless I do not know you. If your a buyer for a long time as 90 percent of you are,you already know this. This is for the few new people who think I ship as soon as you pay,I don't and I can't. if you need an item as soon as you win it or pay for it, as much as I want your business I will have to pass. Please do not bid if you can't wait 7 to 8 days for me to BEGIN shipping. Then you get it about 2 two 4 days after depending on where you live. I honestly just can't do it any faster.!!!! PLEASE READ MY UPDATED TERMS & CONDITIONS !!!!!!!! PLEASE READ AND UNDERSTAND THE FOLLOWING !!!!!! IF YOU BID ON MY ITEM(S) YOU AGREE TO THESE TERMS!!ATTENTION TO ALL BIDDERS/WATCHERS: As much as I appreciate the overwhelmingresponse to my auctions- I have to be honest, it's a little bit TOOoverwhelming.With that being said- My auctions have all the available information that Iknow of in the listing/description, I can tell you no more. Emails askingme to send all the information I have on an already OVER auction will goignored- because again, you have it all in the auction. Use the eBay toolsfor auctions/listings that have ended. Please do not ask me- that is whythe LiveHelp guys are available.Another thing, I don't care when/how/where you got any of my phone numbers..You are NOT to call me in the wee hours of the morning- that meansanytime after 10:00 p.m.EST, UNLESS I tell you you can. NO calls at 3am no matter what is out to get you.I can give you absolutely no love advice. I cannot make you fly. I have run auctions on my love advise and do you really want to take it from me anyway?.I get a ton of email everyday, I can only answer it when I'm home orhave time. Were the world an ideal place, I would have time to talk toeveryone and answer questions- but it's not and I don't. The guy whoshaves his head at 3 p.m. I find...........interesting, but again- Icannot answer every single email. I can not tell you how to live,breathe, when you should make a phone call, go to the bathroom or whatto wear when you dress.I cannot email you back 10 and 20 times a day and I will no longer.This means everyone.Lately, my shipping has been a little late- and I apologize.I try and do it once a week. Even when late- everyone does get their items. IfI miss something I will get it to you, I always do- and to make up for it Iusually send a little something extra. I don't think recently I have been that late but you never know when I will again. I have a life and things come up. All of my regular buyers already know this. This excludes my Loving Louie who will torture me if he doesn't get it FAST.Also, if you have been blocked, you have been blocked for a reason,and you shall remain so. eBay provides the blocking feature as a toolto protect sellers from non-paying bidders (or bidders with a historyof non-payment), "shill" bidders, or people who attempt to set up apayment plan AFTER the end of an auction. (Marvin!)I have no problem arranging a payment schedule (within reason and NOTfor just a couple of bucks either) for an item IF you contact me PRIORto the auctions end/close.Emails that tell me how great you are in the bedroom do nothing forme and never have, PLEASE tell someone else, I beseech you.I like my men classy on the outside and a wild animal in private. Ifyou feel the need to tell me all about it- I doubt that it is that good.If you are seriously seeking a mate, then send me a picture with a briefdescription of yourself and what your looking for in that "special someone"and I will add you to my dating service.In closing...I'm sure you'll find your way through the Universe without myassistance, Dee Dee!!!UPDATE!!!<p>As I stated above, my shipping is slow- but you will get your items!Due to the nature of what I do (which how I'm able to discover theseoddities and artifacts that you all seem to enjoy so much), I will nowbe shipping only once per week. If you pay the day AFTER I have donemy weekly shipping- you WILL have to wait until the following week.ALSO, if you live OUTSIDE of the U.S. and want/expect Expedited, Insured,Registered Mail, or some other type of Tracking- YOU WILL NEED TO CONTACTME and tell me your preference and I will respond within a few days andinform you of what shipping options are available and you will be issueda new Invoice with the updated shipping information of your choice.AND Lastly, whether you live in or outside the U.S. or on the moon or inHades- whereever. If you have doubts about your Postal Service- you needto have your package INSURED. You know more about where you live than I do.I WILL NOT be responsible for lost, stolen, or damaged packages and/or items.Now get out there and bid on something! :P Dee DeeLIMITATION OF LIABILITY(PLEASE READ CAREFULLY)"Company" refers to Haunted Curiosities, 2piratesbringUtreasure and JustMeDeeDee (all unincorporated businesses) its owners, employees and any other associated persons or related businesses specifically including, but not limited to: XXXXXXXXXX, XXXXXXXX, XXXXX XXXXXX, Ricky Coulbourn, Aaron Davist, Fred Gordon, Kevin Kintch, Brian Rivaud."You" refers to the person or entity signing this agreement and thereby granting a Limitation of Liability, as described below, to Company."Item" is product or curiosity that you are purchasing from the Company which may have haunted, paranormal, supernatural negative energy properties which may expose you to spirits or other unexplainable phenomena which may frighten or cause damage to you, other persons or your property."Investigation" means a tour or trip that you are purchasing from the Company which may result in injury whether caused by ordinary or unexplainable phenomena (as described in above in Item Definition) either during the ITEMS AND INVESTIGATION or afterward.YOU ARE PLANNING ON PURCHASING AN ITEM FROM OR GOING ON AN INVESTIGATION WITH THE Company. YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT SUCH ITEMS AND INVESTIGATIONS ARE INHERENTLY UNSAFE. THE ITEMS AND INVESTIGATIONS ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMISSIBLE PURSUANT TO APPLICABLE LAW, Company AND ITS LICENSORS DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, TITLE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. Company DOES NOT WARRANT THAT THE ITEMS AND INVESTIGATIONS WILL BE OPERATED FREE OF DELAYS, INCONVENIENCES, FAILURE IN PERFORMANCE, INACCURACIES OR ERRORS IN THE MATERIALS, OR OTHER ERRORS OR DEFECTS. YOU TAKE THESE ITEMS AND INVESTIGATION AT YOUR OWN RISK.UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO BREACH OF CONTRACT, TORT OR NEGLIGENCE, WILL Company, LICENSORS, OR OTHER SUPPLIERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, SPECIAL, PUNITIVE, INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES THAT ARISE OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE ITEMS AND INVESTIGATIONS OR WITH ANY USE OF, ANY DELAY IN OR INABILITY TO PARTICIPATE IN THE ITEMS AND INVESTIGATIONS, OR FOR ANY INFORMATION, PRODUCTS AND SERVICES OBTAINED THROUGH THE ITEMS AND INVESTIGATIONS, OR OTHERWISE ARISING OUT OF THE USE OF OR PARTICIPATION IN THE ITEMS AND INVESTIGATIONS, EVEN IF ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF DAMAGES. BECAUSE SOME STATES/JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW THE EXCLUSION OR LIMITATION OF LIABILITY FOR CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, THE ABOVE LIMITATION MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU. IN NO EVENT SHALL Company's TOTAL LIABILITY TO YOU FOR ALL DAMAGES, LOSSES AND CAUSES OF ACTION EXCEED THE AMOUNT PAID BY YOU, IF ANY, FOR THE PURCHASE OF, OR PARTICIPATION IN, THE ITEMS AND INVESTIGATIONS.This Agreement is governed by the laws of the State of New Jersey, U.S.A, without regard to conflicts of law provisions. You consent to the exclusive jurisdiction and venue of courts in Gloucester County, New Jersey, U.S.A. in all disputes arising out of or relating to the Company or the items and investigations.If any part of this Agreement is determined to be invalid or unenforceable pursuant to applicable law including, but not limited to, the warranty disclaimers and liability limitations set forth above, then the invalid or unenforceable provision will be deemed superseded by a valid, enforceable provision that most closely matches the intent of the original provision and the remainder of the Agreement shall continue in effect.This Agreement constitutes the entire agreement between you and Company with respect to the items and investigations and it supersedes all prior or contemporaneous communications and proposals, whether electronic, oral or written, between you and Company with respect to the items and investigations. A printed version of this Agreement and of any notice given in electronic form will be admissible in judicial or administrative proceedings based upon or relating to this Agreement to the same extent and subject to the same conditions as other business documents and records originally generated and maintained in printed form.Any rights not expressly granted herein are reserved to Company.